Fundraiser Help me get life saving surgery.
Fundraiser Help me get life saving surgery.
Here is my story:
I am a single mother raising a child with Asperger's Syndrome. He is 15 now and we have been through many hardships together. Things are better now than 5 years ago when I was "let go" from my job due to downsizing and made the decision to stay home with my son, Carl, and do everything I could for him so he would develop the life skills he needed and be able to live a "normal" life. I had saved $6000 and we used this to supplement our income from child support of $500 a month as well as to give Carl classes, special schooling and treatments for his ADD and Asperger's. While nothing we found was a "cure", we were blessed and found 1 treatment that worked very well and gave Carl the building blocks to be able to live and "fit in better" with society. Our money was gone within the first year or so and we managed to live on the $500 a month for the next 3 years, always behind on most of our bills. During this time I stayed home and continued to help my child adjust to daily living situations, although I did try from time to time to find work.
Throughout the last 20 years I've gained an unbelievable amount of weight. I am now classified as "super morbidly obese" at 350 lbs. I carry all my weight in front around my middle. This is the worst area to carry weight for a woman. I've been on many, many "diets" and joined a few gyms over the years. Each diet I would lose a few lbs and a couple I lost about 40 lbs! But none were sustainable for a lifetime and I would eventually gain back the lost weight and a lot more. As I gained weight, I grew depressed more and more. Now at 350 lbs I have many problems caused by and related to being overweight, these are called co-morbidities: high blood pressure, high cholesterol, depression, anxiety, mild pressure incontinence, sleep apnea, insulin resistance, slow healing, pre-diabetes, ankle/feet swelling, fallen arches, lower limb circulatory problems, inability to walk more than 40 feet before needing to sit down, breathlessness, intermittent rapid heart rate, pain in lower back, feet, knees and ankles, PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and unable to stand for more than 15 mins at a time.
One year ago Carl's father died. Ironically, his death would put us in a better position financially and catapult my decision to re-investigate weight loss surgery. Carl's father, Greg, and I were the same age. He died from a massive heart attack after barely turning 42. I don't want this to happen to me. I don't want to leave my son without a mother or father. That is my biggest motivation. After Greg's death, we went from $500 a month to $1300 a month because of his Social Securities death benefits. I've managed to catch up on all our bills. Social Security says if one of us goes to work they will deduct that from our monthly benefits. So, until Carl turns 16, June 10 2009, we make more money not working than working.
I've tried to get work over the years but discrimination is alive and well in America. Even with non-discrimination and equality laws it seems that it is still okay to make fun of and discriminate against fat people. We still get left out, looked over, looked down upon and derided. I've personally been the target of cow calls, looks of disgust, pointed at and then laughed at out loud (yes, they were adults), ignored, stared at, fat jokes, rude comments, hastily moved away from and more. My son has put up with the kids at school teasing him about his "fat mama" and making "whale" jokes. Some of these things have happened to me while I was looking for work and during interviews. Employers do not want to hire me because of my appearance and I am also considered a high medical risk.
I recently decided to have weight loss surgery. There are several different kinds to choose from. After reading and researching everything I could get my hands on, I decided that there is only one surgery that will work for me. I chose the BPD/DS (BilioPancreatic Diversion with Duodenal Switch). This surgery works well for people with a BMI (Body Mass Index) of 50 or higher. Mine is 55. It also works long term and its patients tend to lose the most weight and keep it off, living a happy, healthy life.
During my research I found Dr. Ungson of CIMA Hospital in Hermosillo, Mexico. That is who I chose to do my surgery. He is a leading bariatrics surgeon and has done over 400 BPD/DS's. I chose him not only because of his credentials but because here in America the surgery I want STARTS at $35,000 and goes up! In Mexico it is only $13,800 plus airfare and hotel etc. The $13,800 includes everything to do with the surgery plus 4 days in the hospital for recovery. They do ask that you stay in town at a hotel for 5-7 days of recovery and follow-up care. (Removal of stitches and drainage tubes.) Since I have no job, I do not have insurance, so I have no choice but to self-pay.
The total cost (surgery, passports, hotel, airfare for two because someone has to help you in the hotel afterwards, food, aftercare meds etc...) came to $18000.00, and that's cutting all the costs we could. I applied for the loan of $18,000 but only received a commitment for $9400 with a co-signer. My father co-signed and I emptied my IRA, cashed out my life insurance policy, put in as much money as I could myself and borrowed $2500 from my parents. We barely made it.
After receiving 4 letters from the financing company telling me I was approved, I decided it was safe to buy the airline tickets. They cost $2300 and we would be making 3 stop-overs each way. Everything was falling smoothly into place and I was beginning to have hope. 2 hours later I got a call from my finance company telling me the bank just told them they were no longer doing overseas loans. WHAT? It didn't seem to matter that they had already APPROVED me. We then tried several other banks and although my father has excellent credit, they said his credit wasn't "active" enough. I told them that's because they have everything paid off, only have one credit card and if they want something they pay for it in cash. They didn't care. Well, that was that. I cancelled the surgery and the airline tickets (got back all the money except the fee) and went to bed and cried.
Throughout all of this I've prayed and prayed. I think everything went so smoothly because God was involved, and the only thing that went "wrong" was the 1 thing that would put me in debt. I believe I am suppose to find another way of finding the money that will not place me in debt. I have $8000 and I need to find $10,000 more. I'm putting this plea out to all of you. Please help me get the surgery that will save my life and help me stay with my son. Anything you can give, $5 or $10,000, will be appreciated. I promise that every penny will go directly towards having this surgery.
If I do not have this surgery soon, I will be looking at diabetes and/or a heart attack within the next few years. I’ve been told that if I get diabetes, the chances of losing my legs eventually will be good because of problems I already have.
If I have this surgery most or probably all of my co-morbidities will disappear and I will most likely live a long natural life. If I have this surgery I will be able to get a job and support my family like I should. I only have till June before I will need to work again and I know I can't get a job the way I am now.
Please help me. I need your help so I can live.
most sincerely,
Pat Epling
* Many people have given money to others in need as their tithing. I would like to hear any ideas to help me.
** Asperger's is high functioning Autism. Asperger children often refer to themselves as Aspies. People with Asperger's do not understand or "get" things that a 'normie' or normal person does. The social skills that most people take for granted and intuitively understand and learn through social interaction, Aspie's simple don't "get". They have to 'learn' them and it can take quite some time. They have an entirely different way of understanding and interpreting the world. Their difficulty with social skills is the most noticeable symptom they have.
Diets I've tried: Low fat, Carbohydrate Addicts Diet, Low Carb, Weight Watchers (3 times), Richard Simmons, Atkins, Medifast (twice), Sugar Busters, Slim-fast, Dexatrim, All Soup, 7 day diet, Volumetrics, Overeaters Anonymous, Low Calorie, etc., etc...
Gyms I've joined: 24 hr Fitness (current), the Sermon Center, YMCA, Mademoiselle
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